THE LAWS Edit

  1.  Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
  2. There will be no placing of external objects in the sacred shrine of Kankri Vantas.
  3. Fuck logic, but only when it would be uninteresting to put logic into play.
  4. Seahorses.
  5. The authority of the paper plates is not to be questioned.
  6. If you are loved by another character, you will be horribly injured or killed at some point, several times.
  7. If you are not loved by another character, you will still be horribly injured or killed at some point. Most of the harm that comes to you will be offscreen, but it will still be intense.
  8. If you are not Nate Kip, things could be worse.
  9. If you are Nate Kip, things will only get worse.
  10. If you Are Loved By a Writer Who does Not Desire Harm to Come to you, you may notice increase in good things and fluff happening around/to you
  11. If you are Loved By a Writer Who Desires Extensive Suffering and breaking of the characters They Enjoy, you are most likely Fucked and are going to experience the wonders of psychological damage.
  13. What twelfth law?
  14. If you cannot type properly when you are particularly angry, you are probably some form of Pika. Or a Grue.
  15. Magic Is Just Complicated And More Powerful Science   
  16. If you make out with people who are possessed they become unpossessed somehow. Usually.
  17. Finagle's Law Of Dynamic Negatives Is Mostly Always in Play.
  18. Finagle's Law Of Dynamic Negatives Is Mostly Always in Play.
  19. Finagle's Laws Of Dynamic Negatives is Mostly Always in Play.
  20. The Law Below Is Now Kankris
  21. If you Forget to Tag your Triggers, Or Accidently Social injustice, You will Summon Social Justice Warrior Kankri From His Depths. There Is No Where You Can Hide, Where He Will not find you. There Is No Where You Can run Where His Voice will Not Catch you. 
  22. Fear the whistle, for its call means that he is near. Or it means that you have caught the attention of the last Skitterbot 1.9 in existence. Or some guy with a whistle.
  23. The last Skitterbot 1.9 in existence will not grant you wishes. No exceptions.
  24. Kankri has precedence over you, and Eridan has precedence over Kankri.
  25. A specific one of the writers almost always offers apologetic gestures after sessions of torture or just annoyance, but normally only to characters in her favor.
  26. If you are well-liked by the writers, you are not allowed to permanently kill yourself.
  27. Constantly expect zombies.
  28. Constantly expect Three Trials Miniplots.
  29. Constantly expect horrible diseases.
  30. Never Expect The Inquistion, Unless You Have Obtained Omniscience.
  31. The sun is painful.
  32. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
  33. You Sign Off On Your Rights And Constant Free-will the Moment You Accidently Wander Here/InThere
  34. It is probably best not to question it when you are told to do things by the writers, unless it sounds particularly heinous and/or inane, because that probably means they're fucking with you.
  36. Seahorses.